11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
