my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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