I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
