your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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