Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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