i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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