My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Come on in and take your pants off
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize