We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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