Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
