yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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