'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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