I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
