Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
