Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.