i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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