did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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