Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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