I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
