you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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