There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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