At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
