so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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