I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The air taste purple.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
