Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
