did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
