i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize