I'm going to jail i love you
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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