Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
