i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i dont even know how to be here
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
