oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
