It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
