Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
