we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
don't judge my taste in strippers
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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