I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
