This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
