where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
