I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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