After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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