i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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