oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
