to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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