dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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