But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
