I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
