How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
