We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
