What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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