i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
