I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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