The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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