doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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