yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
