is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
