I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
