craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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