I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Randomize
