omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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