You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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