Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize