I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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