Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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