yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
