You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
