you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
